Sunday, March 7, 2010

I know I have written about the danger zone for me which is the time between coming home from work and dinnertime.  I'm still struggling with that.  I still can't get a handle on controlling my eating during that time frame - also the weekend is difficult.  At first I thought that if I structured my time I wouldn't eat.  I ignore the things I have planned to do, I ignore the things I plan to eat in favor of crackers and highly processed foods.  So my question is why?  Why do I do this?  How can I stop?    When I come home from work, even on the good days all I can think about is the things I did wrong or the things other people did wrong.  I just know that I am so, so tired.  Maybe that is the biggest part of it.  Maybe I should plan to come home and lie down for 15 minutes and just relax.    It always takes me a long time to get upstairs even to just change my clothes partly because I'm just too tired to climb the stairs.  Also, I don't want to face the issues that arose during the work day.  Somehow I always focus on the things I did wrong and also I think that all the people around me are thinking that I'm incompetent too.  I could come home and exercise but quite honestly, I'm too tired.  All I want to do is eat and decompress.  I think tomorrow I'm going to try the new plan.  I'm going to come in, hang my coat up and go straight upstaris to lie down for at least 15 minutes, perhaps longer.   I'll let you know whether it works.

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