Sunny Day

So I came home at 4 today and it felt so good to see sunshine all the way home.  There is something about the quality of light that just lifts my spirits.  Also, this week it's been light when I have been driving to work in the morning.  Awesome.  It makes me so happy.  Now, I realize that March 3 is still the depths of winter here in the northern midwest but the mild winter temperatures today coupled with the blazing sunlight give me a taste of spring.   There is something about spring that makes me feel invincible - I can do anything - perhaps because I have survived a bleak, dark winter.  It feels so good just to be alive, I feel like I can do anything.  I have so much hope for this weight loss journey.  I want more than anything to lose this weight but I have to still address those pesky issues that trick me into overeating. Mostly, the critical inner voice that tells me that this can't be done, the voice that tells me that even if I do it I won't be happy with myself, so why bother, the voice that nags me to eat everything in sight then condemns me when I do.  That voice.  George Sheehan had a quote about running marathons  that refers to the voice. The quote is so powerful that I put on my refridgerator it says "It's very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners.  Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit."  Unlike lots of weight loss advice which just drags me down - this quote empowers me - it's not about what I "should" eat or not eat.  It's not about working to have the perfect body.  It is about the one foot before the other long distance marathon that defines my weight loss journey.  It's about getting up and starting again each morning - despite yesterday's failure.  It's about staying on the course when all you want to do is give up.  It's about the kind of person that I want to be - one that doesn't quit - that does not give up despite the 2-steps-forward-one step-back that seems to characterize this weight loss attempt.  In the past I have always given up after 3 weeks or so - I'm happy to say I'm still plugging away after 2 months - making note of my small victories and trying again day after day.